Protecting the Kids and Dogs We Love

Dogs and humans speak different languages, and nowhere is this clearer than when kids and dogs get together. Signs of affection from kids—hugs, kisses, playing dress-up, sharing a blanket—can make dogs feel threatened. Dogs also often feel unsafe around the high-pitched voices and quick, unpredictable movements which are so natural to children. Dogs express their discomfort through signals that people often don't recognize or understand. This can lead to a bite or nip that is neither our child's nor our dog's fault, but rather our own.

If you're a parent, you love your kids and dog, and want them to become happy companions. If you're a "pet parent" without kids in the home, you want your dog to develop good relationships with children who visit, as well as those you meet in public.

Key points to remember:

• Learn to read your dog's stress signals. If your dog isn't clearly enjoying your child at that moment, it's time to intervene. (Colleen Pelar's chart at the end of this handout will help you see the difference.)
• Carefully supervise all play between your child and your dog. Just being in the same room with them isn't enough.
• Recognize that when your dog growls, he is warning you, in the best way he knows how, that he is over-stressed and needs some help.
• Remember that the same dog that loved your baby may not be as comfortable when that same baby is a toddler, young child or teenager.

Even a "Good Dog" Can Bite

Head lowering or turning, a tucked tail, moving away, lip licking, shaking off (as if wet), yawning or a halfmoon eye (white arc around the iris) are all messages from your dog that he is stressed and needs to get away. If we miss their signs of distress, our dogs might have to growl to let us know that they have had enough.

Punishing a growl won't protect your child. Rather, it will teach your dog to bite without a growled warning! Parents are typically surprised to learn that most dog bites to children occur when parents are in the same room. We don't notice that what we think of as cute is stressful for our dogs. We miss the signs. But even "good" dogs will bite if no one is helping them and they see no other way out. Supervise interactions and intervene early. Let your dog escape to a "safe" place before he feels a need to protect
himself.

Tolerance vs. Enjoyment

Your dog, especially if he's mellow, may tolerate some of your child's more rambunctious antics. But when your child chases, falls on, picks up, hugs or grabs your dog, most dogs don't enjoy it and need your help.

Likewise, when your child has had enough of your dog's nipping, jumping or nuzzling, give your child somewhere safe to go. Make sure that their time together is happy, so they can form a bond, and give them both a break before either your child is upset or your dog is stressed.

Conditioning is not a guarantee

Parents' pulling tails, ears, and bumping into dogs to prepare them for children doesn't guarantee that your dog will tolerate your child doing the same. Your dog has a unique relationship with each person, so focus on building a good relationship between your dog and child. Teach your dog to associate your child with good things happening by giving him special treats when your child is around, and help your children have activities of their own, even though your dog is in the same room.

Good intentions are not enough

Almost all children mean well when they're with your dog, but that's not enough. Your dog can still be unhappy when children do things that are uncomfortable for him – like hugging, kissing, patting the dog's head, going into his crate, or sharing a blanket. In public, help children who run up to your dog learn what your dog likes and how to read his signals. Encourage them to pet your dog on his chest or under his chin, and then only if your dog approves. Teach them that if your dog backs away or looks away, it's time
for a nice good-bye. They may even be pleased that they have learned some "Doglish".

Teens can be as tough as toddlers

Your field of vision has to grow as your child does. Even if your dog was fine around your baby, when that same child begins crawling, walking and falling, it's a new ballgame. The dog that liked your baby may move away from your toddler.

Young children and teens present their own set of dangers, like riding bikes, throwing balls, having friends over, and running around the house. Just because your teen has grown up with dogs and can reason (kind of), that doesn't mean that he won't do mindless things that will stress your dog.

Supervision is critical

This means more than being in the same room with your child and your dog. Paying attention to what goes on, and letting your dog escape when he needs to, will help your child and dog learn how to enjoy each other.

Helping your child and dog become loving best friends will build memories that last a lifetime.

Your Dog's Friend thanks Colleen Pelar whose ideas form the basis for this handout.

RESOURCES FOR CHILDREN & PARENTS:

The Animal Welfare Institute sells Pablo Puppy's Search for the Perfect Person (for 4 – 8 yr olds; $4) by Sheila Hamaka. You can also download a free board game, matching game, and coloring pages. Go to www.awionline.org.

You can buy the Doggone Crazy! board game, Dog Detective e-book, printed story books, coloring books, stickers and body language flashcards at www.DogGoneSafe.com.

May I Pet Your Dog? - The How-to Guide for Kids Meeting Dogs (and Dogs Meeting Kids) by Stephanie Calmenson teaches children in pre-school through second grade when and how to approach a dog.

The website www.LivingWithKidsandDogs.com offers all sorts of useful information as well as a link to order the book Living With Kids and Dogs...Without Losing Your Mind by Colleen Pelar.

If you're expecting a baby, look at www.dogsandstorks.com to find answers to many of your questions and concerns.

Enough Already

This chart is presented, with the kind permission of its author Colleen Pelar. Notice the difference in the dogs in these three columns, and remember that If your dog is tolerating, rather than enjoying, your child at that moment, help your dog escape before things escalate. Be safe, rather than sorry.